i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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