dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
