So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
