It's Friday. Sex?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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