You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
