He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize