My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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