She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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