i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
