remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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