Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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