i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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