I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
