let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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