Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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