sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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