I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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