i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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