I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize