ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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