did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I came so hard my ears popped.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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