this must be what syphilis tastes like
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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