Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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