My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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