I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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