im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.