so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
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lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?