She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You pole danced in your parka.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
