my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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