Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
