Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize