I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
