Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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