I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
