So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just want nice things and good sex
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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