I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
