I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
