90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
ttyl tear gas
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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