I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize