he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's always time for handjobs
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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