ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
