its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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