I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
