sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
