He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
