Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
