when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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