Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
