So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
