I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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