Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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