Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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