dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he shaved USA in his pubs
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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