STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
