Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
