i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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