I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
