The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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