We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
