Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
