you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Terrible idea I love it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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