your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
